Updated: Nov 8, 2020
Welcome back Pilgrims,
This week, we're going to talk about perspective. Last week, we reviewed our SMART goals and what it takes to create them. By now, you should have created a mission and a vision statement for yourself, and you should have five SMART goals.
Now that we know what we want, the next step is checking our perspective.
By now, you’ve had a full week to think about what you want. How was that for you? Were there any revelations that you had about your goals? Which areas do you think will need extra focus from you? Keep that in mind as we go forward with this week’s topic. If you haven't yet completed the tasks from week 1, please take a moment now to go back to the blog and watch the video on SMART goals and go ahead and write down five goals that you want.
This week's topic is about perspective. This week is especially for people who are feeling anxious or intimidated by the goals that they've set for themselves.
There is an awesome TED talk by Kelly McGonigal which re-frames fear/stress and how we think about it. I highly recommend you watch the entire video, but my biggest takeaway was the body's reaction to fear and excitement are very similar. Sweaty palms, racing heartbeat, the feelings of anxiousness are symptoms of both. How the body responds to a stimulant is how we frame it. If we are looking at something like, ‘Oh my gosh, this is scary’, then our body is going to release cortisol which is a stress hormone (which is bad for you). If you look at it as ‘this is exciting, this is a new adventure for me’, then your body doesn’t release cortisol.
Changes in Perspective:
This is a new goal for me to accomplish and think of how I'm going to be on the other side of this and what I'll have once I complete this goal that actually releases more adrenaline and again, I highly recommend you watch the TEDTALK.
Over the years, several of my friends have had to remind me. Sometimes I have to remind myself “I’m great!”
There's actually a playlist on Spotify called Pep Talk that I listen to when I need to get myself in that “I’m the s***” mentality. The mentality of which you approach a situation is going to change the energy of your actions. if you go in thinking I can't do this or there's no point or I'm just going to mess this up how well are you going to be able to do that job? But if you go in there thinking: “Alright, I'm here. I'm ready to learn. There is a possibility of greatness”, the energy that you put in is going to be vastly different from the energy of a defeatist standpoint.
I want us to express gratitude for everything that we have already accomplished. We've taken a moment to acknowledge everything that we have now. Everything that is now an expectation, was once a goal. If you are struggling to think of examples of things that you have accomplished, we can start as far back as walking. There was once a time, you had no motor skills, then you were on all fours, and now you're walking upright. You can locomote yourself to and fro like it's nothing.
Still stumped? Have you ever learned a skill? Bought something that you always wanted for yourself? Have you graduated from school? Do you have a job?
You wanted something, made up your mind to get it, and now you have it. For that, we're going to express gratitude.
Also, while we are expressing gratitude, we have to express gratitude for the things that did not happen when we wanted them to. In hindsight, we may be able to recognize that getting that thing wasn’t in our best interest. Maybe we can even see that by not getting that thing we wanted, we were able to get something better than we had hoped to imagine.
I Can Tell You One Of My Stories:
After I graduated university, it was a down economy and I couldn't find a job as quickly as I’d anticipated. I was working in the same position that I had when I was in college and taking classes full time. I was ready to grow. I was ready to get a leadership role. I was ready to embark upon adulthood. For the better part of a year, I was applying internally externally, and just getting no after no after no. It was very disheartening. Although I felt stuck in a position that I felt I had outgrown, I kept up my work ethic at work. I found ways to challenge myself when the role wasn’t. I remained positive and continued to perform at a high level.
Eventually, my work spoke for itself when I was tapped for a new position, the role was better than anything that I had been applying for. In hindsight, I can express gratitude for that journey. In the midst of it, however, when I didn’t see the end in sight— I was frustrated and upset.
I want us to be mindful of this going forward. We may be making progress even if we don’t feel like we are moving forward. We have to persevere no matter what the obstacle is in front of us. whether it be a setback or anything, we just have to stay the course and be find the opportunities in every obstacle.
The mere fact that you have goals shows that you have hope within you. You have optimism for what the future can hold. Practicing gratitude is a tool for manifesting because your predictions about the outcome is going to shape your execution of it. One of my favorite quotes is “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right”. If you don’t believe that your efforts will affect, how much effort are you going to give the task at hand? It’s almost a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe that you can achieve something, then no matter how many setbacks you encounter, you are willing to continue to try.
I find that the law of averages begins to take effect.
Gratitude puts you in a place to receive more.
People actually like to help other people. It's in our nature If you are going to help someone and offer your assistance, would you prefer to give it to someone who expects your assistance or the one who is appreciative of what you've done? You are setting the tone for more to come to you. By expressing gratitude to everyone that you encounter along the way, whether it be a small gesture or HUGE favor.
The homework for this portion of the challenge is to watch that video and to give yourself 20 things that you have accomplished. This could be things that you have learned, skills that you have improved, or things that you have overcome. If you pride yourself on humility, 20 might seem like a lot. If that is the case, you especially need to do this exercise. Chasing your dreams is not the place of to be timid. Now is the time to step boldly. Step with the confidence that only someone who has done everything you have can. Claim proudly who you are, what you’ve done and what you are capable of.
Once you have completed the full list of 20 accomplishments, take the top three (more if you are feeling fancy) accomplishments that make you most proud.
Answer these questions about each:
Why was this a goal of yours?
Why are you proud of this accomplishment?
What actions did you take to achieve it?
Once you have these answers, I want you to create one affirmation for yourself.
I will (insert answer 3) so that I can (insert answer 1) because (insert answer 2).
This is an affirmation that you should say every day. It’s helpful to tie it to an action that you do every day. Whether it be when you wake up or shower or get in your car. Create a signal so that you can remember to say it. As I’ve said before, your outlook determines your outcome. As we chase our dreams, it’s good for us to believe that we can achieve them.
A lot of people were afraid that this challenge would be too tough for them. I want us all to succeed and if you don’t believe that what we are doing will be fruitful, how can we expect greatness?
As I said in the first video, I will hold you accountable however, I'm not here to beat you up. I'm here to encourage you, accompany you, and ultimately hold you help you achieve your goal. I want to share with you the tools that have helped me.
In these moments I find myself trying to balance, self-acceptance and self-improvement and gratitude has helped me keep them yoked. I am thankful for all of the skills and experiences that I've had before. Those lessons are going to help me prepare for what is next.
Everything I am experiencing now will provide me with new skills and knowledge that are going to help me navigate where I have to go. I am thankful for everything that I have accomplished previously. When we are dissatisfied with our current place where we want to change our current circumstances and to reach for something better, we forget that once upon a time, we strived to be where we are now. Where we are was a goal, we've reached it.
We forget that we've done things in the past that have been challenging. In those times we worked hard at it, we were committed, and we got it done. Whether it's the job you have, whether it's the grade you have, or the school you're attending, or the car you drive, or the house you live in, these were things that you wanted once upon a time, and you have them now. It could be anything, it could be project that you just finished. It could be a class that you took. It could be a skill that you have. Something that at one time you didn't know yet now you can do it with your eyes closed.
These are all things that we've accomplished, but because we've mastered it we may not give it as much significance as before. It's always good to remind ourselves what we have accomplished. Though we're not resting on our laurels, it is good to affirm that, hey, we've had challenges before, and we can persevere and achieve these next challenges.
Until Next Time Pilgrims,